Today was the first time I've seen a dentist since I moved back down to Maryland. The dental coverage provided by my work is an HMO plan, so I basically choose a dentist from their listings and use them as my primary provider. So I did what any clueless, lazy, young professional would do, select the one closest to my apartment. How could I go wrong, I mean, it was 2 frickin miles away! If there was an expression for shooting both of your feet, then that's why I immaculately pulled off. It was probably the shabbiest, most ghetto-looking dental office I had been to, ever. Not only did the waiting room's walls have coats of different color paint on them, but there were these plants in the corner that were dying faster than my hope of receiving good service. And to top it off, there were no effin magazines to read! So I arrive, fill out the paper work, and simply wait to be called in to the office. 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, then one hour and I'm still sitting in the waiting area! The morbidly obese receptionist informs me that there's been an emergency with a patient and she doesn't know when they can let the next person in, that being me of course. My level of concern is going up while my willingness to return here next time has fallen to a new low. Two hours later (!!!, and I don't mean the band) the hygienist finally calls me in and we can get started. Upon first inspection of my teeth, the hygienist noted that "you must have had a great dentist." Oh I sure did, and it made me miss him more after hearing that statement. Thankfully, there was nothing wrong as I was just in for a routine check-up, but if there were, I wouldn't let them operate on TUL's precious mouth at that dreadful office. "Find new dentist" has moved its position to #1 on TUL's to-do list, replacing "Find way to repaint wall in apartment without getting charged from management before moving out, even though it's extra thick, outdoor, oh shit I'm fucked paint."