The Upstate Life

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Buy Kanye West, Not Conde Nast

What a great way to follow up with the previous post when I heard about Cargo, the new publication by NYC magazine publisher Conde Nast. Do not let the self-defeating title fool you, for its basically dubbed "Lucky for Men." Like it's sibling responsible for the decline of literacy in this country due to it's lack of articles and onslaught of products advertised by hundreds of designers, Cargo is just that, but for guys! A "buyer's guide for men", it's designed to give the impression that the $300 Gucci shoes it prominently exhibits amongst its pages will get you laid and make you feel like the proverbial shit, because hey, Cargo recommended it. It also provides some excellent advice towards what kind of deluxe shaving oil one should purchase. No thanks Cargo; I'll just stick to my worn out Mach 3 Turbo in dire need of replacing and some Gillette Shaving Cream. I came across a great Washington Post article at work yesterday that slammed it harder than the Kevin Smith fans who don't want Jersey Girl to be released.

"But don't get the idea that Cargo merely pushes products. It also provides valuable advice. For instance, there's fully illustrated advice on "How to Roll Up Your Sleeves." Step one: "Undo all the buttons on the sleeve." I look forward to future issues, which no doubt will contain an illustrated feature titled "How to Tie Your Shoes." ... After 204 pages of stuff, I longed for some sign of human life. Except for the models, Cargo is devoid of human beings. It's a magazine for mannequins."

Conde Nast is banking on these mannequins for some serious change. There's over 900,000 people that currently subscribe to Lucky, an amazingly high number of readers, I mean page shoppers. In order to bring Cargo to the masses, the publisher is offering a FREE Cargo Embroidered Messenger Bag as a gift for new subscriptions. So let's get this straight. Not only can someone buy a men's magazine dedicated to the latest in metrosexuailty fads, but you can even sport a new bag advertising you're one the company's proud charter members. It's even got some reflective tape on it to makes others aware of what you're toting around, eventually signaling enough attention to beat you senseless.

Posted by Brett at 6:31 PM |