The Upstate Life
The Upstate Life

Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Coming Soon On MTV: Marry J-Lo For a Day

Well, not really, but MTV has green lit several new pilots that TUL hopes will not make it to air on the music video-less network. Just see for yourself:

Rob Zombie, former B2K member Omarion and P. Diddy associate Fonzworth Bentley are among the stars to be featured in new pilots green lit by MTV. Zombie has come aboard for a horror-themed series titled "Zombie Chronicles." Omarion will star in "Dedicated," featuring three or four music video dedications per episode plus the stories behind them.

Yep, sound like winners to me. The only that strikes me as interesting from that article was the misspelling of everyone's favorite umbrella-toting OutKast groupie/P. Diddy servant. Fonzworth?? It's like the writer made a hybrid of Farnsworth and the Fonz, but everyone knows that no one beats the Fonz when it comes to dancing (or elbowing jukeboxes). Honestly, MTV must've thought House of 1000 Corpses was such a success that they didn't have to think twice about giving Zombie another shot of offering viewers more impending shit to watch. Then again, I can't wait for "Dedicated" so I can watch Omarion ("Who? You know that guy from B2K. Oh yeah... Wait, who's B2K?") dedicate the latest Cassidy (more like Crapssidy... oh, burn) video to the afterschool audience. But wait, that's not all MTV has to offer! Here's another pilot coming up that'll be sure to knock off a few points from the ol' IQ:

After debuting on the second installment of Diddy's "Making the Band," Bentley will host "Borrow My Crew," a reality show in which the professional entourages of celebrities will assist viewers with everyday problems. Jennifer Lopez and her crew appear in one episode, assisting a teenage girl with preparations for her senior prom.

So the next time your girlfriend breaks up with you, don't sweat it! "Borrow My Crew" will bring over G-Unit to your house in no time, aiding your broken heart by doing some lines of coke then gangbang that new dude she's been dating.

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