The Upstate Life
The Upstate Life

Tuesday, December 13, 2005
You Might Be An IJC If... DC Edition!

The somewhat notorious ijc developed one of these humorous self-tests after Gawker posted their now-expired "Are You a Hipster?" poll (it was only valid for one day, 'natch). The Upstate Life took it upon himself to go a step further, revamping ijc's already amusing survey and giving it a DC twist. Corrections are indicated below:

Give yourself one point for each question you answer yes:
1. Your last name ends in "thal", "stein", "berg" or "man" No Change
2. You live or have lived in the Windsor Court, the Biltmore or Normandy Court Quebec House, Meridian at Courthouse, or Palisades of Bethesda
3. You read a magazine while "working out" No Change
4. You don't have a metrocard SmarTrip in your wallet
5. Your credit card bill goes to your parents No Change
6. You grew up in Roslyn, Merrick, Potomac, Manalapan or Cherry Hill No Change
7. You regularly dine at Houston's, Josies Cheesecake Factory or Penelope PF Changs
8. You are less than 5 feet 4 inches tall No Change
9. Your list of favorite books includes something by Plum Sykes or Lauren Weisberger or Jessica Cutler
10. You went to UPenn, Syracuse, Indiana, Emory, Wisconsin, American or Arizona No Change
11. Your Thursday night usually includes a stop at Red Sky, PS 450 or Pizza 33 Lauriol Plaza, Felix, or Local 16
12. You will be in South Florida some time during the Christmas holiday No Change
13. You think Aaron Karo is funny No Change
14. You go to Tasti-D-Lite Thomas Sweet and ask for "the usual"
15. You think Bloomingdales Nordstrom is the Wal-Mart of NYC DC
17. You know someone who has met their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse on JDate No Change
18. You are or have been on JDate No Change
19. You have purchased a pair of moccasins within the last year No Change
20. You were in SDT in college No Change
21. You have been to the Matzoh Ball hoping to meet a "Nice Jewish Guy" No Change

Subtract one point for each question you answer yes:
1. You played a sport in high school
2. You went to an Ivy League school (UPenn and Cornell do not count)
3. You know how to drive a stick
4. You are from a "red state"
5. You are taller than 5-9
6. You have a Subway Sandwich Card in your wallet
7. You have a subscription to the Economist

Results Key:

0 - 4 Points
You are a normal girl. At one point you probably lived in Queens Arlington or Hoboken Bethesda before you "made it" and moved to New York City DC. you get $300 haircuts, but still can't afford to shop at Marc Jacobs Georgetown Park. You love reality TV.

5 - 8 Points
You are a typical new york DC girl. It is what it is. You are mean to taxi drivers. You wear ridiculously large sunglasses, even in the winter. You go to the gym try to stay in shape because you are worried about getting a good man. You get $300 haircuts and have bought clothes at Marc Jacobs Georgetown Park. You're thinking about going to Cabo with your girlfriends this year, but you're all just so busy.

9 - 12 Points
Borderline ijc. You probably used to live in Murray Hill Cleveland Park, but you Grammercy Dupont. Immediately cancel your subscription to US Weekly, quit your corporate non-profit PR job and lose a few lbs.

12+ points
You're an ijc and proud of it. There's no hope for you. I totally saw you sitting in your Range Rover Lexus Hybrid parked outside of Bar 515 Helix Lounge. You met your boyfriend Brian on JDate and as soon as he's done at Brooklyn GW Law the two of you are going to get married and move to Westchester Gaithersburg. Then you can have dorky unathletic ijc children that will be doomed to live the same boring life as you have.

Wow, this quiz is almost as interchangeable in terms of different cities as to the subjects it's pertaining to! But seriosuly, what's your score?

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